11 Essential Rules for Dealing with a Narcissist

Dealing with a narcissist can be challenging and emotionally draining. Whether it's a family member, friend, or romantic partner, understanding how to navigate these relationships is crucial for your well-being. In this article, we will explore 11 essential rules that can help you effectively deal with a narcissist and protect your mental health.

1. Establish and Stick to Boundaries

One of the most important strategies when dealing with a narcissist is setting clear boundaries. Understand that you have the right to say no and prioritize your own needs. If a narcissist is demanding too much of your time, don't hesitate to assert yourself and let them know that you have other commitments.

2. Use Empathic Validation

When confronting a narcissist, it can be helpful to use empathic validation. This means starting the conversation with a compliment or positive statement before addressing any concerns or criticisms. By doing so, you can potentially reduce defensiveness and increase the likelihood of a productive conversation.

3. Avoid Sharing Too Much Information

Be cautious about sharing personal information with a narcissist. They may use it against you in the future, either to manipulate or belittle you. Remember, anything you disclose can and will be used as ammunition. Keep conversations focused on neutral topics and avoid revealing sensitive details.

4. Don't Assume the Narcissist Cares

It's important to accept that narcissists lack genuine empathy or concern for others. They are primarily focused on their own needs and desires. Recognizing this can be difficult, especially for kind-hearted individuals. However, reminding yourself that their actions are not a reflection of your worth can help you maintain emotional distance.

5. Refuse to Engage in Drama

Narcissists thrive on drama and manipulation. They often create conflicts and then deny any involvement. It's crucial not to get sucked into their games. Instead, focus on maintaining your composure and refusing to participate in their attempts to provoke you.

6. Don't Second-Guess Yourself

Narcissists are masters of gaslighting, a psychological technique that aims to make you doubt your own perceptions and reality. When confronted with their selfish behavior, they may twist the situation to make you feel guilty or at fault. Stay firm in your convictions and trust your instincts.

7. Remember It's Not Personal

It's essential to understand that the narcissist's behavior is not a reflection of your worth. They view others as pawns in their game of life. If it wasn't you, it would have been someone else. Remind yourself that you are not to blame for their actions.

8. Verify the Narcissist's Claims

Narcissists are skilled manipulators and often lie to serve their own agenda. When they make claims about others or share negative information, take a moment to fact-check before getting emotionally involved. Don't let their words provoke unnecessary stress or anxiety.

9. Avoid Competing with the Narcissist

Trying to outshine or compete with a narcissist is a losing battle. They thrive on self-aggrandizement and will always try to one-up others. Instead, focus on building your own self-esteem and being authentic. Embrace your strengths without feeling the need to prove yourself to them.

10. Create Distance

If possible, consider creating distance between yourself and the narcissist. This may involve limiting contact or even removing yourself from toxic relationships. If you have children with a narcissistic partner, prioritize their well-being and seek professional guidance on navigating co-parenting.

11. Ignore Provocations

One of the most effective ways to deal with a narcissist is to ignore their attempts to provoke you. They feed off reactions and can use them to manipulate and control you. Practice deep breathing and stress reduction techniques to maintain your composure in their presence.


Dealing with a narcissist requires patience, self-awareness, and a commitment to your own well-being. By setting boundaries, staying calm, and focusing on your own growth, you can navigate these challenging relationships with resilience. Remember, you are not alone, and there are resources available to support you on your journey to healing.

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