How to Maintain Your Temper and Win the Long-Term Strategic War in Your Relationship

Are you struggling with maintaining your temper in your relationship. Do you find yourself getting angry and losing control when your partner refuses to budge. In this article, we will explore effective techniques to help you stay calm and win the long-term strategic war in your relationship.

The Weakness of Losing Your Temper

Losing your temper is a sign of weakness. It shows a loss of control and can escalate the situation further. Instead, prioritize executing coping techniques to prevent losing your temper.

Detaching and Breathing

When you feel yourself getting angry, take a step back and detach from the situation. Breathe deeply and focus on the long-term victory rather than winning a single battle. Remember, proving that you're right is not the best goal to have.

Flanking Instead of Attacking

If your partner is refusing to budge, attacking their heavily defended position will only escalate the situation. Instead, try flanking them by approaching the issue from a different angle. This could involve changing the subject or finding a more flexible point of discussion.

Understanding the Bigger Picture

Often, arguments in relationships revolve around trivial matters that don't have a significant impact in the grand scheme of things. It's important to realize that being right in these small battles doesn't matter. Focus on the long-term strategic war and avoid getting upset over things that don't truly matter.

Recognizing Red Flags

Communication in relationships is complex, and certain phrases can act as red flags. Pay attention to phrases like 'it doesn't matter' or 'I don't want to talk about it. ' These indicate heavily defended positions where your partner is not willing to change their mind. Instead of pushing further, try disarming them by approaching the conversation in a genuine and open manner.

Overcoming Low Self-Esteem

Anger management issues can often stem from low self-esteem. By recognizing that losing your temper is a sign of low self-esteem, you can train yourself to stay calm and avoid escalating situations. Remember, getting angry won't solve anything and will only hinder the long-term success of your relationship.


Maintaining your temper in a relationship is crucial for long-term success. By prioritizing strategic thinking, detaching from the situation, and flanking instead of attacking, you can navigate conflicts more effectively. Remember, the goal is to win the long-term strategic war, not every single battle. Stay calm, communicate openly, and focus on what truly matters in your relationship.

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