How to Use the Gray Rock Method to Deal with a Narcissist

The Gray Rock Method: Starving the Narcissist

Dealing with a narcissist can be incredibly challenging, especially when going no contact is not an option. Whether you have children with a narcissist or work for one, finding effective coping techniques is essential. In this article, we will discuss the gray rock method and how it can help you starve a narcissist.

What is the Gray Rock Method.

The gray rock method is a strategy used to interact with narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths. Its intention is to make yourself unappealing and uninteresting to the narcissist, ultimately causing them to lose attraction to you. The method involves becoming as bland, boring, and emotionless as a gray rock.

Implementing the Gray Rock Method

When practicing the gray rock method, it is important not to feed the narcissist's energy. This means avoiding any emotional reactions or engaging in arguments. Here are some key tips for implementing the gray rock method:

  • Show no emotion: When the narcissist tries to provoke an argument, remain calm and emotionless. Respond with short, non-committal answers that do not provide any energy for the narcissist to feed on.
  • Stay uninteresting: Avoid giving the narcissist any reason to be intrigued or attracted to you. Be as mundane and unappealing as possible.
  • Practice mental toughness: It can be challenging to resist the narcissist's attempts to trigger you. However, maintaining mental toughness is crucial in successfully implementing the gray rock method.

Using the Gray Rock Method with Children

If you have children with a narcissist, it is important to prioritize their safety and well-being. While the gray rock method can be effective, it is crucial to assess the level of narcissism and determine the best approach. Seeking professional help, such as child therapy, can provide guidance on navigating co-parenting with a narcissist.


Dealing with a narcissist when no contact is not an option can be incredibly challenging. However, by implementing the gray rock method, you can starve the narcissist of the energy they need to function. Remember to prioritize your safety and well-being, especially if you have children involved. Seek professional help and consider strategies that align with your specific situation.

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